How to Annoy Dean
by Trenzalore
Summary: Dean leaves Sam and Cas alone in the car while he goes on a pie run, sure Sam has been teaching Cas things like how to bug Dean, but, they won't do any permanent damage to the impala or the city...right? My BrOTP no slash just destruction of property. Set somewhere in season five. One-shot.


**DEAN**

Team Free Will is driving on the road, Dean is driving, Sam's in the passenger seat trying to explain the game rock paper scissors to Castiel, who is sitting in the back listening attentively. The confused angel listens intently, trying to figure out why the game is fun for humans to play and why it is played to decide who should do what ("I still don't understand, does it hold some sort of power over humans that makes you do what it wants?"). Dean gets off the highway and parks his baby in the parking lot.

"I'm gonna go get some pie and take a leak, if you need anything go get it your damn self." he slammed the car door, those two are driving him insane, Cas constantly asking 'but why' and Sam going over it as if it's important that he understand why they play that stupid game. Why did they _have _to get along? It just makes Dean annoyed to the point of massacring a town—or at least a hunter and an angel.

Dean, walking into the store goes over the possibilities that can happen while he's in the store, none of his ideas come up with anything too harmful. Leaving the two in the car isn't one of the worst things that Dean could do, but it still makes him a little nervous, he keeps looking over his shoulder back to the car hoping it's still in one piece. The last time he left them alone Sam convinced Cas to move all the furniture to the ceiling and replace all the pie with cake designed to look like pie. But Dean pushes all that to the back of his mind, the two can't do anything too bad this time, he'll only be gone for two, three minutes tops. There's no way an angel of the Lord and Lucifer's vessel could do any lasting damage on this town…hopefully.

Dean really needs a break from those two, lately Sam has taken to teaching Cas how to annoy Dean. And for the record Cas is a fast learner, he mastered the 'are we there yet?' routine within the first few times. Dean almost drove them into a lake just to shut the two up. Things got worse and worse from there. The two are driving Dean slowly into insanity, it's like having two annoying little brothers instead of just the one.

After he used the bathroom, Dean walked around the store looking for some pie. He couldn't find it, but he did find some drinks and junk food. The hunter gathered the junk food and piled it into his arms, he walked up to the counter and placed the food in front of him.

"Do you have any pie?" he asked, that is the most important thing on this stop, it's one of the few things that can make this bad trip into a good one. The employee said that they did and pointed it out to the strange costumer, who took three slices (for him) and placed them on the counter with the rest of the snacks.

Once he paid and all of what he bought was put in bags he walked out and back to where he thought he left the impala. "SAM!" no reply. "CAS!" still nothing. "Damn it, guys, I leave you alone for TWO MINUTES!" that's when all hell exploded.

The hunter barely had time to cover his head when the scenery around him exploded into fire and confetti. Laughter filled his ears and he saw his baby, the impala was just there, no less than five feet away, he ran towards it, but it kept getting farther and farther away from him.

"This isn't funny!" he shouted. Still no reply. Dean jumped and landed on the car's hood. "Gotcha, Sexy." Spot lights spun round and round until they landed on him.

A voice filled with amusement was speaking as if through surround sound. "Helloooo Dean Winchester!" Applause. "Welcome to—" There was a voice speaking in the background. "…but I have a speech…." Again there was muffled voices. "Fine. FINE. Is this good enough?"

"Gabriel?!" Dean called out. "Are you messing with us again?" he recognized the voice after a while. Before he heard another word from Gabriel the world started to catch fire and rain clowns. "What the hell?" Dean breathed the words, trying to not let the fire touch him or his car. "Stop it! STOP!" But it didn't, soon Sam and Castiel appeared out of nowhere. Sam backed away from the clowns and climbed the impala. "What just happened?"

Sam didn't reply, he stared at the clowns in horror. Dean tried to snap him out of it. "Sammy! What is happening?"

Instead of answering, he pointed to Cas, who is looking out around them. "Gabriel came for a visit and he heard us talking about how to annoy you and wanted to help cause chaos…he got angry at us for saying he was going too far so he put us in here with you."

The eldest Winchester just stared at the two of them. "You did WHAT? You're responsible for making all _this_ happen?" He gestured around them.

"Are you annoyed?" Castiel asked.

Eyes emitting out fury looked back at the angel. "Yes, I am."

"Then we did our job."


End file.
